Today, we had an amusing conversation. When you try to hold a normal conversation without saying any words that contain the letter “e”, it tends to be quite hilarious. I admit I am not the best at such word play, but it didn't hurt to try, and it was fun, and not to mention torturous too. Okay so it hurt somewhat.
I've been feeling melancholic lately, and what has trigged this melancholy? As obvious as it may sound, someone mentioned earlier this year that this will be the last year of any one of us being an ACS student. After this, we'll part ways, go to the various universities of our choice, spread our wings and travel to countries far and wide, and life goes on. This year will be a special year; it will be the year of some firsts, and of many lasts. How does one strike a balance between reminiscing the past, surviving the present and thinking about the future?
It seems to be a season of change, and I have in the past few weeks seen one person trying to change drastically, and another four trying to change certain major aspects of their life. What caused this change in each of them – this I would never fully understand. It's probably a multitude of factors, and this being the final year of IB should be one major contributing factor in all of the cases. Another factor would be the actions, words, writings and feelings of the people around them. Do you know that you affect the people around you more than you realize? It could be a word, a phrase, an action – the little things in life that you do, that can cause the greatest change in someone else's life.
Living life by the minute
Watching each minute of life pass by
Enjoying the funny moments
Relishing the sad moments
The contrast
Makes the former so much better
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
today i have:
- regained sleep
- done my chem prac
- revised some history
- edited my tok essay
- exercised for 45 mins
- deleted MBAC
- gotten 7 pts for my history test
in 20 minutes my pull up bar will be installed
tonight i shall:
- see if i can get any more ee or wl done
- revise for chem test
- do math worksheets
THE FIRST STEPS ON THE ROAD TO BEING BUFFER AND AWESOMER.
(except for me dling civilization 2 but... ahh screw it i think it will help me with my history =D)
- regained sleep
- done my chem prac
- revised some history
- edited my tok essay
- exercised for 45 mins
- deleted MBAC
- gotten 7 pts for my history test
in 20 minutes my pull up bar will be installed
tonight i shall:
- see if i can get any more ee or wl done
- revise for chem test
- do math worksheets
THE FIRST STEPS ON THE ROAD TO BEING BUFFER AND AWESOMER.
(except for me dling civilization 2 but... ahh screw it i think it will help me with my history =D)
Sunday, February 22, 2009
pink is for the cool
no i did not randomly pick a template
yes i previewed it first
if you have any problems with this template leave your name on the tagboard and i'll come troll you
yes i previewed it first
if you have any problems with this template leave your name on the tagboard and i'll come troll you
ENFP
Hrmm I seem to like spamming blog posts when I'm suppose to be doing work. Anyway its 8am and I am really well rested (slept for 14 hours) and I have the whole day ahead of me, I should be able to progress somewhat today.
I did a personality test 5 mins ago and got an ENFP - the idealist champion & the inspirer, or so they claim. But apparently none of these traits are really shown by me, with like 44% of Extraverted, 62% of Intuitive, 50% of Feeling, and 33% of Perceiving. What type of person are you?
I did a personality test 5 mins ago and got an ENFP - the idealist champion & the inspirer, or so they claim. But apparently none of these traits are really shown by me, with like 44% of Extraverted, 62% of Intuitive, 50% of Feeling, and 33% of Perceiving. What type of person are you?
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Morning After
It feels not as bad as I imagined, facing it is overrated, so anti-climatic. It's time to make the unmanageable manageable, the impossible slightly more possible, and hack away at the mountain one rock at a time.
I read a joke last night. It was quite humourous, in a twisted sort of way. I would post it, but that would kinda defeat the purpose of writing it, and it's kinda unsuitable for the internet. Maybe you all or someone else would get to see it one day. One day that will approach way too soon, it's only a short while away. The time taken for the chance meeting of two halfs to form a whole.
There are things you want to know, but you don't want to ask, because asking will just make it so meaningless. Then how do you find the answer? You can guess, but you'll never know. But that's better than nothing. And you wonder: what's the point of saying it if you're not going to say anything more? Isn't it so pissing when someone says I'll tell you something, but suddenly he changes his mind and decides not to tell you instead?
It's happening. When you tell yourself not to think about it, but because you are telling yourself that you inevitably start thinking about it. And when you think about it your mind calculates the possibilities, as it has always done over the years. Hrmm what probability would I give it to be true? 1%? That's too high? Or too low? Hard to say, these things can't really be calculated. Stop doing that, you've already told yourself that the probability is zero. Or a really small percentage chance, negligible by any standards. Except your own. Then raise your standards, you plead to yourself, so that it becomes negligible and we can be done with it. Outwardly you are resigned that the chance tends towards zero, but inwardly you hope against hope that it is true. Please please please let it be true, but who are you talking to? Have you gone insane that you start speaking to yourself? Don't we all do that? Stop side-tracking.
The probability topic and Bayes Theorem and everything about probability we learn in school is a joke, those don't happen in real life. In real life, the chance of you crossing the road and getting over to the other side is 99%, where the remaining 1% is the chance that you'll get hit by a car halfway across. And provided / given that you are hit by a car, the chance of you dying is a further 50%, and the chance of you living is 50%. (note: statistics have an error of 0.5% of the total chance.) This is what really matters. Also, probability can also been seen from another point of view, and in this case, you just keep telling yourself that it's either true or not in the end, so the probability must be 50%. You would do anything just to raise the probability. And then Levin comes up to you and tell you that it can also be seen that the end result has already happened, so the chance of you getting the end result is 100% and everything else is 0%. Somehow I think it's a lot easier to fool your mind into believing the 50-50% bull, rather than believe in this determinism crap. But in the end, whether the chance is 0%, 0.1%, 1%, 50% or 100%, statistics and probability won't be there to save you when shit happens. I really do hope this turns out to be ironic. Won't it be so nice if everything turned out the way you want it to? But that's not life you see, life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get. I like milk chocolate.
And white is just so much easier on the eyes than black. Why didn't I do this earlier?
Puffy eyes puffy eyes why won't you go away?
you've descended on me so suddenly today.
I hope you aren't here to stay
because I really don't like it this way.
I read a joke last night. It was quite humourous, in a twisted sort of way. I would post it, but that would kinda defeat the purpose of writing it, and it's kinda unsuitable for the internet. Maybe you all or someone else would get to see it one day. One day that will approach way too soon, it's only a short while away. The time taken for the chance meeting of two halfs to form a whole.
There are things you want to know, but you don't want to ask, because asking will just make it so meaningless. Then how do you find the answer? You can guess, but you'll never know. But that's better than nothing. And you wonder: what's the point of saying it if you're not going to say anything more? Isn't it so pissing when someone says I'll tell you something, but suddenly he changes his mind and decides not to tell you instead?
It's happening. When you tell yourself not to think about it, but because you are telling yourself that you inevitably start thinking about it. And when you think about it your mind calculates the possibilities, as it has always done over the years. Hrmm what probability would I give it to be true? 1%? That's too high? Or too low? Hard to say, these things can't really be calculated. Stop doing that, you've already told yourself that the probability is zero. Or a really small percentage chance, negligible by any standards. Except your own. Then raise your standards, you plead to yourself, so that it becomes negligible and we can be done with it. Outwardly you are resigned that the chance tends towards zero, but inwardly you hope against hope that it is true. Please please please let it be true, but who are you talking to? Have you gone insane that you start speaking to yourself? Don't we all do that? Stop side-tracking.
The probability topic and Bayes Theorem and everything about probability we learn in school is a joke, those don't happen in real life. In real life, the chance of you crossing the road and getting over to the other side is 99%, where the remaining 1% is the chance that you'll get hit by a car halfway across. And provided / given that you are hit by a car, the chance of you dying is a further 50%, and the chance of you living is 50%. (note: statistics have an error of 0.5% of the total chance.) This is what really matters. Also, probability can also been seen from another point of view, and in this case, you just keep telling yourself that it's either true or not in the end, so the probability must be 50%. You would do anything just to raise the probability. And then Levin comes up to you and tell you that it can also be seen that the end result has already happened, so the chance of you getting the end result is 100% and everything else is 0%. Somehow I think it's a lot easier to fool your mind into believing the 50-50% bull, rather than believe in this determinism crap. But in the end, whether the chance is 0%, 0.1%, 1%, 50% or 100%, statistics and probability won't be there to save you when shit happens. I really do hope this turns out to be ironic. Won't it be so nice if everything turned out the way you want it to? But that's not life you see, life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get. I like milk chocolate.
And white is just so much easier on the eyes than black. Why didn't I do this earlier?
Puffy eyes puffy eyes why won't you go away?
you've descended on me so suddenly today.
I hope you aren't here to stay
because I really don't like it this way.
Uninstall
un·in·stall
-verb (used with object)
To remove completely from a system
I'm okay now. Mou daijoubu. Desu Kudasai. Everything turned out fine in the end, just like my sister said they would. Now I should move on to other things.
-verb (used with object)
To remove completely from a system
I'm okay now. Mou daijoubu. Desu Kudasai. Everything turned out fine in the end, just like my sister said they would. Now I should move on to other things.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Deja Vu
Today was the most happening day in a long time, happening in the sense that lots of things happened. Stuff that can be actually remembered 1 month down the road, 1 year, or possibly in 10s of years time. Or maybe not, as I tend to make myself forget the not-exactly-pleasant stuff and my sis constantly complains about my lack of memory and facial recognition and anything that involves memory. That's why I'll write it down here, and even if the metal circuits of my computer decay and melt, or the neurons in my brain cease to make the connections that would allow me to remember these events, these words and record of events will be left floating around in the large web of cyberspace (or until a hacker decides to wipe the storage space of blogger). Hrmm, do I sound emo again? I guess so right. O wells, I'll just let it out and be done with it.
Starting with the fun stuff: We had cake today. CAKU. I like cake, especially sponge cake, and especially not cheesecake; I really can't freaking stand cheesecake. I took three helpings of said cake. =x I bet no one knew that, I'm sorry. But you wouldn't deny a skinny frail boy of his food, would you? Heh. Thanks goes to the not-sofa-but-chair man, otherwise known as monster (by 1 person), for being pro-active in acquiring cake and generous in spreading the cake around. Thanks. Arigatou.
In related news, we threw someone into the pond. To all the teachers who may possibly read this blog, no we didn't do that, I'm just joking. To everyone else, we really did that, I'm not joking. The benefits of being a boarder are few and far between, but being able to change out of a moss-stained soaked school uniform in the shortest time possible is a definitely a plus point of being a scholar. We thought we needed a lot of people, but in the end Mr. Abovementioned and Ezra could double-handedly pull the stunt off. Not that Mr. Birthday-boy provided much resistance, though he could if he wanted to. He played along really well and the stunt was a success. Goodjob guys.
Oh, and the other fun stuff that happened today was the TOK presentation. It was somehow quite amusing, much more than I predicted, expected, or planned. The whole class was here today, as Mr. Koh was off slacking a bit, but I guess he can afford to, being the owning teacher that he is. Oh, and I didn't manage to pay attention to Stanford's prosu presentation because I was busy doing up my powerpoint from last year... I guess it's my loss. But yay! The first mock presentation is over, now I can prepare for Mock ToK Presentations numbers 2 to 15. 'scuse me while I go work on it.
On to serious stuff: Life is made of cycles; the same events happening over and over again, repeatedly, never-ending, continuously, yes you get the idea. Everything is destined, and the stars predict that which will happen, or so that's what determinists and astrologers believe. I find it slightly amusing that though I don’t consciously subscribe to these schools of thoughts, I can't help but find similarities between the past and the present, or rather, multiple past events and events of today. It gives me the sense of déjà vu, not in the actual meaning of that phrase, but just that I find the past actually repeating itself in the present.
I made a girl angry, up till the point that she shouted at me. And for that I am really sorry. (I don't know if she still reads this blog but I'll just say it) I don't remember actually doing anything like this before, excluding instances with my sister, and as far as I can remember, the next closest instance where I made a girl hate me (if only for awhile, o wait, I'm not sure on that) was in primary school because I went all out to win and did something quite despicable. I guess some things don't change, as Jun Yi tells me that that's my largest weakness in fighting games. As for reasons leading up to that event, I shall not disclose much, but it reminds me of events that happened half a year ago, when I was emo (see earlier posts).
I was looking tru my box of trinkets and memories just the other day, and I remembered something I left in there almost exactly a year ago. It was an old Quest, incomplete due to weakness of will, and left behind to collect dust. It wasn’t too late to complete the Quest though, there was still time. It’s been a year, and things have progressed a full circle, or does that count as no progress at all. I completed the Quest today, it’s another thing off my mind, I can finally lay that to rest now. I know my limits, the young child cannot afford to swim in the deep dark ocean, he can only paddle close to the shore, where the shallow water is, and that’s where he will be safe, eternally. Jean could only hope and dream of plundering the nest of golden eggs, for the climb was perilous, and just a slip would result in his downfall, both figuratively and literally. Isn’t it better if he stayed below the tree, enjoying it’s overarching branches and the shade it gives, rather than risking the little he had for the infinite reward so freaking far away?
Dreams are generally categorized as pleasant experiences, a reward for giving your body much needed rest. If the mind is cluttered and confused, the dreams may turn into nightmares, where upon awaking one would be highly thankful that it was only a dream / nightmare. But what if the dream was neither pleasant nor unpleasant, it was just plain factual, events that happened in front of you; while you stand there paralyzed, unable to do anything but watch? This Dream crept up on me, silently, and it showed me an event, and it showed me my reaction to it. I did not expect myself to react like that, but maybe the dream is the way your subconscious communicates with your conscious, and I would subconsciously react like that if the situation really occurred. As the length of the sleep was short, and the environment not entirely peaceful, parts of reality drifted into my dream and mingled with fiction, resulting in this maelstrom of fractured reality and truthful fiction. O wells it’s just a dream, screw that shit.
Oh, and I met Cleon Niger Fggot Wong after school and he showed me the game he created. It’s scary the difference in stuff that IB/JC and Poly people study when we’re the same age. Now’s not the most appropriate time to mule over next best alternatives forgone when making decisions such as let’s join IB lol, there will be a time and place for that after Nov 20 2009.
And on to older stuff that I forgot / slacked and didn’t manage to post over the past few days:
I have new specs. Yay. That was the new look thingy I hinted in the previous post. How many of you actually predicted that? I like it, and whatever you think, comments are freely welcomed but I like my specs and think it’s cool and it fits me so there. Why do I sound insecure? XD. Oh, and because of said specs I am now officially a Jonas-wannabe – Be it as a Jonas brother (courtesy of Uncle Edna), a 6.5 Jonas emulator, or a let’s-match-specs with “Jonas” person. Lolwut.
I watched Breakout the “extreme dance comedy” at the esplanade on Sunday the 15th of February 2009, with my sister. It was only about an hour and 20 minutes long, but considering that it is mostly about people break dancing, and that there were only 10 people in the whole cast of the show, it must have been quite taxing on them. The humour in the show was universal, and language was not much of a barrier to understanding the plot. Korean English is equally awesome as Japanese English – it’s always amusing to hear those two accents, provided you can actually make out what they are saying. I had a relatively good seat, and after discount it was priced at $64.80 (which my sister treated me to because I ran out of money). What was amazing was that seated near us were this group of 8 young kids, aged around 9 to 14, accompanied by three adults. My sister and I both marveled that these kids were so fortunate enough to be able to enjoy such events at such tender ages, luxuries we and prolly most other people didn’t have. Times have changed.
Spot the pattern:
A big sea of delocalized electrons floating, gravitating, homing inside. Joules kilovolts length (m), not often pronounced, quite random. Seriously? This. <-- Understand? Very weird. x_X Yawn zZzZ
And this is Jonny’s version:
"A barbaric captain doesn't eat fish. Generally, he instead jumps knaves, losing momentarily. No one purposely questions, ridicules, steals, tortures, unless very weary." ~ Xerxes, Yellow Zephyr
I still like mine better.
Why do bees hum?
Cause they forgot the words.
Starting with the fun stuff: We had cake today. CAKU. I like cake, especially sponge cake, and especially not cheesecake; I really can't freaking stand cheesecake. I took three helpings of said cake. =x I bet no one knew that, I'm sorry. But you wouldn't deny a skinny frail boy of his food, would you? Heh. Thanks goes to the not-sofa-but-chair man, otherwise known as monster (by 1 person), for being pro-active in acquiring cake and generous in spreading the cake around. Thanks. Arigatou.
In related news, we threw someone into the pond. To all the teachers who may possibly read this blog, no we didn't do that, I'm just joking. To everyone else, we really did that, I'm not joking. The benefits of being a boarder are few and far between, but being able to change out of a moss-stained soaked school uniform in the shortest time possible is a definitely a plus point of being a scholar. We thought we needed a lot of people, but in the end Mr. Abovementioned and Ezra could double-handedly pull the stunt off. Not that Mr. Birthday-boy provided much resistance, though he could if he wanted to. He played along really well and the stunt was a success. Goodjob guys.
Oh, and the other fun stuff that happened today was the TOK presentation. It was somehow quite amusing, much more than I predicted, expected, or planned. The whole class was here today, as Mr. Koh was off slacking a bit, but I guess he can afford to, being the owning teacher that he is. Oh, and I didn't manage to pay attention to Stanford's prosu presentation because I was busy doing up my powerpoint from last year... I guess it's my loss. But yay! The first mock presentation is over, now I can prepare for Mock ToK Presentations numbers 2 to 15. 'scuse me while I go work on it.
On to serious stuff: Life is made of cycles; the same events happening over and over again, repeatedly, never-ending, continuously, yes you get the idea. Everything is destined, and the stars predict that which will happen, or so that's what determinists and astrologers believe. I find it slightly amusing that though I don’t consciously subscribe to these schools of thoughts, I can't help but find similarities between the past and the present, or rather, multiple past events and events of today. It gives me the sense of déjà vu, not in the actual meaning of that phrase, but just that I find the past actually repeating itself in the present.
I made a girl angry, up till the point that she shouted at me. And for that I am really sorry. (I don't know if she still reads this blog but I'll just say it) I don't remember actually doing anything like this before, excluding instances with my sister, and as far as I can remember, the next closest instance where I made a girl hate me (if only for awhile, o wait, I'm not sure on that) was in primary school because I went all out to win and did something quite despicable. I guess some things don't change, as Jun Yi tells me that that's my largest weakness in fighting games. As for reasons leading up to that event, I shall not disclose much, but it reminds me of events that happened half a year ago, when I was emo (see earlier posts).
I was looking tru my box of trinkets and memories just the other day, and I remembered something I left in there almost exactly a year ago. It was an old Quest, incomplete due to weakness of will, and left behind to collect dust. It wasn’t too late to complete the Quest though, there was still time. It’s been a year, and things have progressed a full circle, or does that count as no progress at all. I completed the Quest today, it’s another thing off my mind, I can finally lay that to rest now. I know my limits, the young child cannot afford to swim in the deep dark ocean, he can only paddle close to the shore, where the shallow water is, and that’s where he will be safe, eternally. Jean could only hope and dream of plundering the nest of golden eggs, for the climb was perilous, and just a slip would result in his downfall, both figuratively and literally. Isn’t it better if he stayed below the tree, enjoying it’s overarching branches and the shade it gives, rather than risking the little he had for the infinite reward so freaking far away?
Dreams are generally categorized as pleasant experiences, a reward for giving your body much needed rest. If the mind is cluttered and confused, the dreams may turn into nightmares, where upon awaking one would be highly thankful that it was only a dream / nightmare. But what if the dream was neither pleasant nor unpleasant, it was just plain factual, events that happened in front of you; while you stand there paralyzed, unable to do anything but watch? This Dream crept up on me, silently, and it showed me an event, and it showed me my reaction to it. I did not expect myself to react like that, but maybe the dream is the way your subconscious communicates with your conscious, and I would subconsciously react like that if the situation really occurred. As the length of the sleep was short, and the environment not entirely peaceful, parts of reality drifted into my dream and mingled with fiction, resulting in this maelstrom of fractured reality and truthful fiction. O wells it’s just a dream, screw that shit.
Oh, and I met Cleon Niger Fggot Wong after school and he showed me the game he created. It’s scary the difference in stuff that IB/JC and Poly people study when we’re the same age. Now’s not the most appropriate time to mule over next best alternatives forgone when making decisions such as let’s join IB lol, there will be a time and place for that after Nov 20 2009.
And on to older stuff that I forgot / slacked and didn’t manage to post over the past few days:
I have new specs. Yay. That was the new look thingy I hinted in the previous post. How many of you actually predicted that? I like it, and whatever you think, comments are freely welcomed but I like my specs and think it’s cool and it fits me so there. Why do I sound insecure? XD. Oh, and because of said specs I am now officially a Jonas-wannabe – Be it as a Jonas brother (courtesy of Uncle Edna), a 6.5 Jonas emulator, or a let’s-match-specs with “Jonas” person. Lolwut.
I watched Breakout the “extreme dance comedy” at the esplanade on Sunday the 15th of February 2009, with my sister. It was only about an hour and 20 minutes long, but considering that it is mostly about people break dancing, and that there were only 10 people in the whole cast of the show, it must have been quite taxing on them. The humour in the show was universal, and language was not much of a barrier to understanding the plot. Korean English is equally awesome as Japanese English – it’s always amusing to hear those two accents, provided you can actually make out what they are saying. I had a relatively good seat, and after discount it was priced at $64.80 (which my sister treated me to because I ran out of money). What was amazing was that seated near us were this group of 8 young kids, aged around 9 to 14, accompanied by three adults. My sister and I both marveled that these kids were so fortunate enough to be able to enjoy such events at such tender ages, luxuries we and prolly most other people didn’t have. Times have changed.
Spot the pattern:
A big sea of delocalized electrons floating, gravitating, homing inside. Joules kilovolts length (m), not often pronounced, quite random. Seriously? This. <-- Understand? Very weird. x_X Yawn zZzZ
And this is Jonny’s version:
"A barbaric captain doesn't eat fish. Generally, he instead jumps knaves, losing momentarily. No one purposely questions, ridicules, steals, tortures, unless very weary." ~ Xerxes, Yellow Zephyr
I still like mine better.
Why do bees hum?
Cause they forgot the words.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Happy Valentine's Day
Yay! Friday the 13th has just passed and it's now the 14th of February, otherwise known as Valentine's Day, or Friendship Day (for people without a valentine). Happy Valentine's Day people, I hope you have fun professing your <3 to your <3ed ones, or lamenting your lack of a partner. For those people at my age that are still single, don't worry, it's a tough year this year academic-wise so it's better to spend your time on studies. Or that's what everyone's saying.
It's been the new year (both english and chinese calendars) for awhile already, but I haven't been able to start everything afresh. The slacking attitude from the year-end hols has been bugging me a lot, and my sleeping patterns just crashed over the last few weeks. Lol nothing to worry about anymore, I hope everything will change by next week. Next week is the week where I get my deadlines met, I change the way I view the world, and the world changes the way it views me. =)
Gotta go now, I have an ee to do. I'll most definitely be posting more stuff real soon.
It's been the new year (both english and chinese calendars) for awhile already, but I haven't been able to start everything afresh. The slacking attitude from the year-end hols has been bugging me a lot, and my sleeping patterns just crashed over the last few weeks. Lol nothing to worry about anymore, I hope everything will change by next week. Next week is the week where I get my deadlines met, I change the way I view the world, and the world changes the way it views me. =)
Gotta go now, I have an ee to do. I'll most definitely be posting more stuff real soon.
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